Here’s the deal. I’m a recovering perfectionist. Perfectionism plagued me. No, no, no: more than that, it paralyzed me! Having one child cured me from a bit of it (I now didn’t have to have ALL my ducks in a row, just most of them). Having child number 2 took care of a little more of it (my poor husband’s undershirts are not perfectly folded like before). But still, it plagued me.
I realized that I was bound by perfectionism. I wasn’t free. I also realized that I was stressing out because I wasn’t excellent at anything. I was an average piano player. An OK singer. A mediocre cook. An introverted pastor’s wife (that’s another story for another time). An average housekeeper. I saw others do so much more than I did: be an author, run a business, parent five or more children (gracious, I can barely handle two! How DO they do it?). I was afraid to start anything because I was always afraid it wouldn’t be “excellent”.
Then I had a revelation of sorts. My problem wasn’t perfectionism, it was pride. I was letting pride get in the way of who God had called me to be. I wasn’t the mother of more than two children – God in His wisdom made me the mother of two wonderful children and knew that I needed to have just the two I have. I wasn’t a gourmet chef, but I didn’t need to be afraid to try new things either just because of the possibility that I might fail. You get the picture.
Even though I had known this truth all my life, it suddenly REALLY dawned on me that I needed to be content where God had me in life and who He had me be . . . and if that meant being average, that was OK. I just needed to “excel at average“.* This was so freeing to me!
So here I am. I’m not sure where I’m going. I’m not sure this blog will ever be excellent. But I’m starting down this road and I’m excited to see where it will lead and how God will use it. Because after all:
“consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-29
May His name be glorified!
*also known as “whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)