Discovering beauty in the ordinary

Discovering beauty in the ordinary

Day 87 / Day 5

Day 87 / Day 5

Discharge day: I’ll be going home today. I’m excited to be home with my family. I do wish I felt a little stronger and less nauseated, but I’m convinced that there is nothing more for me here that I need that can’t be done at home. The doctors feel the same. We are all glad I stayed the night last night though!

Transparency: I’m not as strong as at my last discharge, and I’m working through not being discouraged about that. I think sometimes I tend to forget how big of a surgery this really was. I also tend to downplay my pain and tend to dial back on medication too early for fear of overmedicating; and also because I don’t feel as in control when on them. But I’m going to follow the advice I’ve given to others countless times: take the meds and don’t feel bad about it. 

So, here is my accountability list, hold me to it!

– I asked for nausea meds, the sublingual kind. After all, if I’m nauseated I won’t drink like I should and that will cause the same problem (constipation) and then some (dehydration) than taking the meds could cause. I will not be afraid to take meds, even if I think I could be dialing back on them. I will remember I tend to dial back too early as it is.

– I will set an alarm for first two nights to take my meds regularly rather than wait to feel like I need to take them. The “wearing off” and “waiting for new dose to kick in” was awful last night.

– I’ll be ok with being more groggy than I like and less “with it” than I like. I won’t feel bad for taking lots of naps, intentional or not.

– I won’t feel guilty for asking for help from family and friends. After all, since I didn’t struggle so much doing it with the nurses assigned to me (ok, maybe I did struggle a little bit), why should I from people who love and care for me?

– I will also not feel guilty if I have to say no to someone because I need to rest or have quiet (both my kids and /or friends). I will remember that I would want someone else to be honest with me like that. For example, I’d rather pull back for a time of rest rather than push through and lose patience with my kids.

To that affect . . . (This next one is hard, probably the hardest – not because I’m naturally selfless, but because selfishness is actually something I battle hard against every day).

– I will not feel guilty for thinking of myself first, especially in this next week. If I want to be there for others, to take care of them, to think of them above myself, then this week I really need to focus on myself and getting better. I will pray to be balanced in this, because I also don’t want to fall into a pattern of excusing sinful behavior (i.e. impatience with kids) or thinking of myself first in a sinful way.

Thank you for letting me put that out there for accountability’s sake. Now you know how to better pray for me. I continue to covet your prayers dear friends. Thank you!!!

(As far as questioning about hitting the “post” button, one of the hardest ones, I admit)

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